I think I have fallen for him the very first time I saw him. I’m not sure how we communicated as I hardly spoke any French and his English is not exactly proficient. But somehow we did. I liked him so much I could hardly talk about him with friends without sounding pathetic and making a fool of myself. After a year at distance with a few lovely trips around Europe to meet up, I left my wonderful job, my friends and family and moved in with him to start a new job and a new life in a new country.
We both wanted a family and when we first decided to give it a shot, it was fantastic. I was so excited and emotional. I will never forget. But it didn’t work. So, we decided to think of something else and keep ourselves busy with organizing a wedding! Despite the stressful organisation of a bi-national and multicultural wedding, we had a lovely day and since then got even closer.
After recovering from the wedding excitement, I decided it was time to start taking things under control. I was so scared about the whole situation that nothing was (and is) under control. It was time to go see a specialist. After years of being told from many gynecologists that I would have no problems having babies (despite the fact that I never ever have periods), Dr Expert, tells me she thinks I have a Polycystic Ovaries Syndrome (PCOS) and that I’ll need hormonal treatment. Of course, I went through an anger phase, a “why me” phase, a “no one understands” phase, a “how did she dare say I am lucky not to have children phase”, etc.
After about 6 months of medical tests, a few liters of tears, a certain number of fights with close friends and finally a 3-week dream honeymoon to cheer up, I started jabbing myself and monitoring my ovarian activity. Fun stuff.
Of course as things go on they do not get easier. So after 2 failed IVFs (yup, IVF is no miracle solution, it does actually fail quite often) and a failed IUI, we also found out that I am not the only one with problems. Mr Right also has his share of test and treatments (though at least no jabs on his menu).
So here we are, waiting for the next steps of this adventure and wondering whether we’ll ever get to make a little us. Or a little someone else. Or not to make anything but to still take care and love a wee human being. Time will tell…
Today I hopeI started this blog in a day full of hope, a few days after I had two embryos transferred. That transfer did not work but after a few more attempts, our miracle baby is finally with us!
Blogs I Follow
- Ti'punch contre Ti'bout !
- bringing home the little fella
- dame lapin maman
- Association de patients de l'AMP et de personnes infertiles.
- Whatever works...
- my lady bits
- A Calm Persistence
- Waiting For Bumble
- Waiting for Baby Bird
- Fertility Doll
- A Few Pieces Missing From Normalcy - An Infertile Man's Perspective
- the pursuit of motherhood
- Toolbox for Teachers
- Un coeur à mère
- Sailing On Uncharted Waters
- My Life As A Case Study
- Le blog de Lutine en PMA - VIVE LE DON !
- The Infernal Infertile
- Will Work For Baby
TagsAcupuncture Adoption Anxiety body breathing Communication difficulties disappointments Doctors dreams embryologist encouragement endometrial biopsy failure family feelings FET friends frozen embryos fun future happiness hope ICSI Infertility international adoption IVF Japan Life love marriage mind PCOS pedopsychiatrist plans psychologist Psychology regrets relaxation results sadness social assistant stress tears travelling treatments TWW waiting wishes work
- My Tweets