First meeting with the social assistant for adoption

Early this year we also filed for adoption. Lots of paperwork, depressing reunions in which a lovely lady explains how we are going to struggle, and wait and how most of us won’t actually get a child because there are waaaay too many parents wannabe than adoptable kids, etc.
We finally got to the first meeting with the social assistant. And now the question is: shall we tell her about the treatments?
Generally, couples are discouraged to file for adoption if they have not abandoned the idea of having a biological child. Some couples are lucky and are allowed to do the two at the time, but not everyone is.. As a consequence many couples lie about this.
We knew this in advance, but decided to still tell truth to the social assistant, since she is the one who may eventually give us our baby..
As a result, she told us that we should take a break to finish up our IVF attempts. The reason for this partly being that according to her you don’t have enough space (in your mind and heart)  to imagine both a biological and an adoptive child. I got really sad and talked about this to my psychologist, who said she disagreed and that infertility is not a linear process. I liked this idea. I really do go through phases. Sometimes I envisage the adoptive child a lot more easily and sometimes I can see the biological one more. I still don’t understand the logic behind this but I will just have to do with it and follow what the social assistant says…

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