The most feared question for people having problems TTC is “so when are you going to start a family?”. I still don’t know too well how to deal with this type of situations. There are various strategies..
1. LIE: “oh, we are not ready yet”, “we are focusing on our careers”, “we are thinking about it”, “soon” etc.
This is generally an easy way to cut the conversation. But then sometimes it can go very wrong and can turn into a million suggestions you really don’t need to be given: “you are not that young anymore”,”you should really get started” or the worst that happened to us “your dad really wants to become grandfather” (repeated many times in front of my father in law..).
2. TRUTH: telling the truth is no so easy either since the conversation never ends there. A typical conversation would carry on like this: “well, we have been trying for a while but have had no chance just yet”; “oh but don’t worry now there are many techniques you can try, they work really well”; “mmm, we’ve tried, they don’t actually work that well”; “but why don’t you adopt then, there are so many children needing a family, “yes well turns out adoption is not that easy either”, “oh don’t worry, i’m sure it’ll work out soon”. Problem is I never know how to avoid the conversation to carry on to the point I get annoyed.. I used to get really really annoyed but lately I realised people just want to help. And that talking about something so private and difficult makes them feel bad so that they just try to cheer you up. I think they should all just avoid getting into questions that are so private!
3. SUMMARY: one technique I have tried lately is to summarize everything in a couple of minutes so I don’t get questions but just a “good luck” or “woow I had no idea”. I like this technique but it only works when you have some energy to make an efficient summary.
Today I hopeI started this blog in a day full of hope, a few days after I had two embryos transferred. That transfer did not work but after a few more attempts, our miracle baby is finally with us!
Blogs I Follow
- Ti'punch contre Ti'bout !
- bringing home the little fella
- dame lapin maman
- Association de patients de l'AMP et de personnes infertiles.
- Whatever works...
- my lady bits
- A Calm Persistence
- Waiting For Bumble
- Fertility Doll
- A Few Pieces Missing From Normalcy - An Infertile Man's Perspective
- the pursuit of motherhood
- Toolbox for Teachers
- Un coeur à mère
- Sailing On Uncharted Waters
- My Life As A Case Study
- Le blog de Lutine en PMA - VIVE LE DON !
- L'adoption et Nous
- The Infernal Infertile
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