How to answer the question

The most feared question for people having problems TTC is “so when are you going to start a family?”. I still don’t know too well how to deal with this type of situations. There are various strategies..
1. LIE: “oh, we are not ready yet”, “we are focusing on our careers”, “we are thinking about it”, “soon” etc.
This is generally an easy way to cut the conversation. But then sometimes it can go very wrong and can turn into a million suggestions you really don’t need to be given: “you are not that young anymore”,”you should really get started” or the worst that happened to us “your dad really wants to become grandfather” (repeated many times in front of my father in law..).
2. TRUTH: telling the truth is no so easy either since the conversation never ends there. A typical conversation would carry on like this: “well, we have been trying for a while but have had no chance just yet”; “oh but don’t worry now there are many techniques you can try, they work really well”; “mmm, we’ve tried, they don’t actually work that well”; “but why don’t you adopt then, there are so many children needing a family, “yes well turns out adoption is not that easy either”, “oh don’t worry, i’m sure it’ll work out soon”. Problem is I never know how to avoid the conversation to carry on to the point I get annoyed.. I used to get really really annoyed but lately I realised people just want to help. And that talking about something so private and difficult makes them feel bad so that they just try to cheer you up. I think they should all just avoid getting into questions that are so private!
3. SUMMARY: one technique I have tried lately is to summarize everything in a couple of minutes so I don’t get questions but just a “good luck” or “woow I had no idea”. I like this technique but it only works when you have some energy to make an efficient summary.

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4 Responses to How to answer the question

  1. Pingback: How to anwer to the question « Mrs. New York America 2013

  2. Ria says:

    I know just what you feel. I hate when people ask those questions. They have no idea. I like your summary idea; I usually just try to dodge the questions.

  3. misslazy81 says:

    Reblogged this on misslazy81 and commented:
    Some helpful advice when battling the hard questions of TCC!

  4. theshooz says:

    I feel the same way; it’s hard to know what to say, and what NOT to say. I’d also love to know what you say when someone tells you that they’re pregnant. This seems to be happening to me ALL the time, and it’s really hard to be gracious at times.

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