Planning and uncertainty during IVF

One of the hardest things of infertility is uncertainty. It’s everywhere and at all possible levels.
There is of course the big uncertainty: will I ever be a mom? And the other one that goes with it: what the heck do I do with myself if I cannot be a mom? I have various scenarios in my head, ranging from moving to a developing country to do voluntary work, to going on a world tour for a few years, becoming a photographer or moving to an isolated country side village where the effort to become a heremite is minimal.
But there are also less philosophical questions, which arise when you’re shuffling too many things at a time: what if a big meeting comes up right before the IVF? What if I get an hyperstim and we cannot go on vacation? What if it doesn’t work and I ruin everybody’s Christmas?
I did the last IVF over the summer, thiking that it would be more quiet at work, but there were a ton of emergencies and I kept getting phone calls, which was really stressful.
At the moment I am trying to decide when to do my next IVF and it turns out the next months will be generally quite busy. TTC is my priority but right now, with my contract getting to its end, I really need to be careful mediating between work and treatments. After all, without my job, I can’t afford any treatment..
As I have to start planning my next IVF, I find myself in the middle of loads of “ifs” to which I don’t have an answer.
I know this is a general problem in life. But it is also due to a whoge difference between infertility and other illnesses. If you need a surgery of any sort, you can say it in advance at work and no one is going to argue with you on it. But you can’t just tell your boss “right, in mid-February I’ll go off to the hospital to try and have a little IVF baby, and right before then I’ll be grumpy and emotional for a few days”. Especially when you’re trying to get your contract renewed! So I guess I’ll just have to do my best foreseeing what will happen and then deal with the unexpected later on and hope in a bit of luck….

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One Response to Planning and uncertainty during IVF

  1. E v e l y n says:

    Balancing work is tough and being on a contract makes it worse I would imagine. I made it through a few cycles before I had a major conflict and had to tell my boss. In a way I wish I didn’t have to tell because it has affected my opportunities at work (even though that isn’t exactly legal). As far as balancing it with life there really isn’t a good time to do it. I hope the timing works out for you.

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