First meeting with the psychologist for adoption

Yesterday we had our second meeting of the adoption procedure (second of about 10), which was also our first with the psychologist. She’s a really young and nice girl and it was easy to talk to her. At the same time we talked for about 3 hours and went through some emotional moments and tough questions in our head.
The questions were pretty much the same as the first time: how we met, what are our values, how we think of this future adopted child, why and when did we decide to adopt, are our families aware and supportive, how did we live the discovery of our infertility (did my hubby feel less of a man? Did I feel less of a woman?), have we accepted that we’ll never have a biological child, etc.

The troubles started on the last question: are you over the idea of a biological child? The answer is yes and no. Yes, because I have accepted that I may never get pregnant, no because since we are still going to try IVF we clearly have not lost all hopes. Like the social assistant, the psychologist recommended we have a long break until we have finally given up trying IVF. Luckily after an initial moment of discussing this in which I almost started crying, she went on to ask other questions.

So we now have to decide whether to have this long break or to be stubborn and carry on despite their adivice. They do not have the legal power to stop us but are extremely likely to give a negative advice on us. I think we’ll follow their advice but I’m not very happy about it and still don’t fully understand the point.

The girl finished the interview giving us some stats: the waiting time after having obtained the authorization to adopt where we live (i.e. after all interviews and after the court has taken a decision) is of 5 years in average. And then they tell me they don’t understand why I still want to try IVF??

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One Response to First meeting with the psychologist for adoption

  1. E v e l y n says:

    I’d be inclined to continue moving forward on adoption at the same time as IVF. Would it make a difference to them if you said you were going to adopt regardless of the outcome of IVF?

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