This week is almost over and so is the two week wait. I haven’t been great at staying calm and waiting but I haven’t been too bad either. Tomorrow I will go for the blood test and I should have results by early afternoon.
After the last IVF round I was told by several people that it had not worked because I hadn’t hoped or believed enough. I disagree because I don’t think it makes a difference. In any case, this time no one will be able to say that I haven’t hoped enough. I even think I have let myself dream too far. I have let myself imagine being pregnant, telling my husband that it had worked, holding a baby (our baby), I have thought and discussed baby names, moving apartment and making pregnancy-friendly holiday plans.
I have hope but I feel my disappointment will be proportional to the hope if the test is negative. By now I know that I will stand up again after falling. I’ve done it before. But I don’t know how long it’ll take this time or how bad the fall will be.
Just a tiny bit more waiting…