Hope and disappointment during IVF

This week is almost over and so is the two week wait. I haven’t been great at staying calm and waiting but I haven’t been too bad either. Tomorrow I will go for the blood test and I should have results by early afternoon.

After the last IVF round I was told by several people that it had not worked because I hadn’t hoped or believed enough. I disagree because I don’t think it makes a difference. In any case, this time no one will be able to say that I haven’t hoped enough. I even think I have let myself dream too far. I have let myself imagine being pregnant, telling my husband that it had worked, holding a baby (our baby), I have thought and discussed baby names, moving apartment and making pregnancy-friendly holiday plans.

I have hope but I feel my disappointment will be proportional to the hope if the test is negative. By now I know that I will stand up again after falling. I’ve done it before. But I don’t know how long it’ll take this time or how bad the fall will be.

Just a tiny bit more waiting…

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9 Responses to Hope and disappointment during IVF

  1. barrenbetty says:

    Good luck for tomorrow… I hope the final hours of waiting pass quickly! My IVF cycles keep being cancelled because I’m not responding the the drugs properly. I am hoping it should go ahead now in August which seems a very long way away at the moment! I hate the waiting, it’s the worst part. I hope tomorrow goes really well xx

  2. Kitten says:

    Wishing you luck tomorrow! I respectfully disagree with you about disappointment being proportional to hope. I used to think that, too, but (for me at least) the disappointment is always great, no matter how much or how little hope I have. And, to the people who said you didn’t hope enough last time, go f–k yourselves.

  3. jesselyn6585 says:

    Sending love and baby dust, courage, faith, and strength. I will keep my fingers crossed and you in my prayers.

    Either way, your followers will be here for you.

  4. redbluebird says:

    Sending you SO much luck today! Hoping today is a happy one for you.

  5. Joanna Schwartz says:

    Awww honey I just saw this. What’s the news? How are you sweetheart? Call anytime!

  6. It is so hard – managing hope. I really pray that your next post you’ll be announcing some fantastic news. Thinking of you .. along with all the women posting above.

  7. Even when we pretend not to hope, we hope. Not hoping doesn’t make it hurt less. Hope away!

  8. E v e l y n says:

    Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

    It’s always bothered me when people say they got pregnant because they had faith or believed it was going to happen. In reality, they were lucky enough to get pregnant while they were hoping and believing. I’ve had cycles where I believed and hoped it would happen and it didn’t. That’s an awful thing for people to say you weren’t hopeful enough.

  9. knalani says:

    “After the last IVF round I was told by several people that it had not worked because I hadn’t hoped or believed enough.” Seriously? That’s the kind of bullshit that crackpot faith healers say while scamming people. I’m so sorry someone would say that to you!

    And I’ll be thinking of you and hoping for good news! (Unlike many others undergoing IVF, you have SO MANY PEOPLE hoping and believing for you from around the world. How can that not be ‘enough’?!)

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