I feel rather pathetic to be honest. I feel pathetic for things I felt which I thought were a good sign. I kinda feel it may all have been in my head.. I feel pathetic for being so predictable in my reaction: not caring about my job, wanting to move to another country, wanting to go away, wanting to be alone. Every time it’s the same thing. I feel pathetic because even after a negative pee test yesterday I was still hoping that the beta today could be positive. I must have googled “false negative” at least 20 times yesterday.
I’ll get over it. At some point. But for now I need some sleep, ice cream and a good glass of white wine.
We have 2 frozen embryos of medium quality, so at least we don’t have to run straight into IVF again. But the success rate for frozen embryo transfers is only 10% here so I’m not too hopeful. In any case I need a wee break, so I’ll think about this later.
Thanks everyone for the thoughts, crossed fingers, vibes, wishes etc. It’s great to feel supported. I hope those who are waiting for news will be luckier than me.