Bring on ice cream and white wine


I feel rather pathetic to be honest. I feel pathetic for things I felt which I thought were a good sign. I kinda feel it may all have been in my head.. I feel pathetic for being so predictable in my reaction: not caring about my job, wanting to move to another country, wanting to go away, wanting to be alone. Every time it’s the same thing. I feel pathetic because even after a negative pee test yesterday I was still hoping that the beta today could be positive. I must have googled “false negative” at least 20 times yesterday.

I’ll get over it. At some point. But for now I need some sleep, ice cream and a good glass of white wine.

We have 2 frozen embryos of medium quality, so at least we don’t have to run straight into IVF again. But the success rate for frozen embryo transfers is only 10% here so I’m not too hopeful. In any case I need a wee break, so I’ll think about this later.

Thanks everyone for the thoughts, crossed fingers, vibes, wishes etc. It’s great to feel supported. I hope those who are waiting for news will be luckier than me.

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15 Responses to Bring on ice cream and white wine

  1. So frustrating. So discouraging. I had some wine and ice cream yesterday too. Don’t feel pathetic about your reaction because then ill have to feel pathetic about having the same one!

  2. newtoivf says:

    So sorry, never feel pathetic for hoping, we all fo it xx

  3. redbluebird says:

    I’m so sorry. Don’t feel pathetic– all of those reactions are normal. It’s because you care so much about the outcome. Just like we all do. And your reaction sounds a thousand times more grounded and mature than my recent whine-fest. Speaking of whine, I also had wine, chocolate, AND ice cream yesterday. I hope those frozen embryos turn into your future little ones. Thinking of you.

  4. E v e l y n says:

    I want to tell you not to feel pathetic but I felt the same way. I think it’s just the product of deep sorrow. I’m thinking of you.

  5. knalani says:

    Im so sorry! 😦

  6. As everyone else said – you aren’t pathetic. I think many of us would react the same way. I’m so sorry that it turned out this way.

  7. jesselyn6585 says:

    Heartbroken for you. Sending strength and healing.

  8. KS says:

    Oh no! I am so sorry. I was just like you. I didn’t want to believe the HPT and was reading about late implantation and negatives all the way till day of beta. Big hugs from California.

  9. Kitten says:

    I’m so sorry. You’re not pathetic at all, although I do understand why you feel that way.

  10. Joanna Schwartz says:

    Awwww honey. Fuck.

  11. Joanna Schwartz says:

    Still, holding out hoooooope.

  12. eph525 says:

    What a bummer. Sorry.

  13. I am so sad with you and so sorry. Ice cream and wine sound just right. I’m thinking of you.

  14. chels819 says:

    Sending you a hug. I am so sorry you had a BFN outcome. 😦

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