Last adoption meeting!!!

Today we had our last meeting for the adoption process. It feels good to have finally ended this first stage! I wish I could have the verdict right away but it’ll take a while so I better try to think about something else…

This last meeting was at our place. I didn’t stress out too much. Just a wee bit. If you followed my “to bake or not to bake” dilemma, I ended up not baking but bringing some yummy cookies from home. I’m kind of happy about it now since the social assistant left them untouched. Last night was better invested with some yoga, relaxation and a bath!

We had a nice chat, wrapping up all we have discussed with the psychologist and pedopsychiatrist in the last months and talking about options for the future, especially for what regards national adoption since she’ll be the one following us on it. She finished with saying that she is pretty confident that we will “pass the exam” and be given the authorization to adopt. That’s such a relief, although I’ll probably fully relax only when we receive the authorization.

And now we wait, while they write about us. It’ll be interesting to read how three different people see us as individuals and as a couple. After we get the reports we will have to check them carefully and send them back. Only after that the council will meet and decide whether we are allowed to adopt. So we have a few months to go before we can start contacting different associations. In the meanwhile we can research, decide which ones to contact, where to adopt and maybe even start preparing some of the letters and documents. Or maybe just take a break and leave it for when we will be told whether we can adopt. Just in case…

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15 Responses to Last adoption meeting!!!

  1. ecila69 says:

    Hi! I’m not extralucide but from what you share with us on this blog I can only imagine your family will receive a big fat YES for this procedure. I wish you good luck for your research… and an happy new year (comme j’y suis!). Like said the great pilosophers Black eye peas : “I’ got a feeling” – 2014 will be a good year! Cheers !!!

    • kiftsgate says:

      haahah, I love your version of the Black eye peas’ song! It made me smile and i’ll now probably have in my head for a while 🙂
      Thanks a lot for the support and encouragement.
      Wish you too a very very happy 2014!

  2. E v e l y n says:

    I can’t imagine you’ll be turned down but I’m sure it will feel good to know for sure.

  3. Joanna Schwartz says:

    Last adoption meeting! This is great news!!! Glad for you that you felt the relaxation routine was helpful. Can’t wait to hear what happens next!!!

  4. barrenbetty says:

    I don’t know how I missed this update! that’s great news…. You are getting there slowly but surely. I hope you don’t have too long to wait until you get confirmation xxx

  5. Pingback: My mailbox and I | Today I hope

  6. Alex says:

    You know…every time I think about adoption, it makes me SO incredibly nervous – mostly because I’m so worried about being scrutinized and being found “wanting” for some reason that no one would subsequently disclose or explain to us. I think because for us, adoption from foster care is something we’d be open to and interested in, I’m just so scared that it would not pan out for some reason. It’s incredibly daunting from where I’m sitting – I’m so impressed with how much aplomb you’re handling it!!

    • kiftsgate says:

      I don’t know if I have so much aplomb in handling things. I have been terrified and stressed every time I went in; I got out exhausted from every meeting. But we have tried to show who we are and to learn from the process.
      You are right, you do feel scrutinized. And it’s an exam without the right answers (or at least you don’t always have a right or wrong). You also don’t have a test correction: you get a yes or no with no explanation, which is scary.
      But despite all this, we enjoyed the process, learning, thinking through the difficulties and dreaming of our adopted child.

      • Alex says:

        I can totally understand being terrified and stressed – I feel that way just THINKING about the process and trying to steel myself ahead of the storm. I think my biggest hurdle to this process is still a certain irritation at being put through the ringer when, clearly, the birth parent(s) were subjected to no such requirements and – at least in the case of foster adoptions – obviously failed to provide a stable, loving and safe environment for their child(ren).

        • kiftsgate says:

          Very true. But I wouldn’t think of that too much. If I think of how much my life sucks in comparison to all the people who get knocked up easily I go mad…
          I think of it as an attempt to maximize the chances that the adopted child will be happy. And the people analysing you are fair in that all couples go through the same process and same questions (depending on the areas actually, which I find a bit unfair). When I went to the first adoption meeting, which was a group one, there were some seriously weird couples (I dont normally judge but seriously they were weird). So what do you do: tell them you look weird so you can’t adopt? Or for fairness get everyone checked?
          Also the interviews are also really useful for us potential adoptive parents. We heard stuff we would have not thought about, and which wasn’t even in the books we read. It was sincerely useful and I feel a lot more prepared now to the problems we may end up facing with an adopted child.

          • Alex says:

            Thanks so much for the insightful elaboration. The irony, to me, is that before we realized we were struggling with infertility, I always assumed I would adopt. When I was younger, I was so terrified of unwanted pregnancy and I always felt that there was something inherently selfish in procreating in a world where there are so many children without a loving home. But of course all that changes when you fall in love and create a life with another person – and when, suddenly, something you thought you had a say and a choice in becomes a war on several fronts; all of which leaves you feeling haggard and disillusioned. I think if we hadn’t had these issues, I would’ve been a lot less ambivalent about adoption…

            • kiftsgate says:

              Yes, I perfectly understand. I have always wanted to be a mom.. ALWAYS! So when my hubby first proposed adoption I was speechless. Actually no, I wanted to scream that I wanted my baby, I wanted to be pregnant and I didn’t want someone else’s baby.
              Then with time I have realized that what I want most of all is being a parent with my husband. So now we’re just doing all we can in all possible ways to get there.

              • Alex says:

                That’s why I like reading blogs like yours – because it helps me see that there’s life beyond natural conception and biological children. Sometimes it seems everyone else just needs a little boost to get pregnant – but I know the reality is completely different…

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