Feeling a bit lost with IVF planning…

After months of tests, I recently received all exam results. While happy that results were all good, I was left a bit lost on what to try next. On Friday I went to see my gynecologist, hoping that she would come up with some ideas. Her reaction was exactly like mine: she had no idea of what to do. According to her I have a perfect uterus, and uterine lining and we had managed to get good quality embryos. IVF should have worked and she doesn’t know why it didn’t or what to try to increase chances next time.

Since the only time I had a faint positive result was after a FET, she proposed to do egg collection, freeze everything and then do FETs later. She said if we do that she’ll also be able to stimulate me more to get more embryos. Except I later remembered that when she stimulated me more I had an LH peak and we ended up cancelling the cycle. So I am not sure she’ll really be able to stimulate more. She also proposed to wait for the embryos to get to blastocysts before freezing to better select those that are really good. Except last time we did 3-day freezing because we thought it would be better for the embryos to develop in the womb instead of in vitro. She also said to go see the embryologist to see if she has some ideas. Sure, we’ll go but I don’t expect the embryologist to have enlightening ideas. I’ll ask about assisted hatching but I’m not sure if that’ll help much. Finally, she said I could do anti-coagulants injections after the transfer. She said it won’t hurt but that it is unlikely going to make a big difference.
The new plan is to start stims in late February and have egg retrieval in March, freeze whatever we get, have a break for at least two months and then transfer in July.
I have mixed feelings about this plan. I am seriously considering going to ask for a second opinion, even if this gynecologist is already my second opinion. And it’s not really her fault if she could not come up with alternative ideas. We have tried lots already:
  • We have tried IVF, IMSI and ICSI. ICSI is the one that gave the best results so far. Although we did get a blastocyst with IMSI too.
  • We have tried short, long and antagonist protocols, antagonist is the one that worked the best (highest number of embryos and the only one that didn’t cause an OHSS).
  • We have tried fresh cycles and one frozen cycle. The FET is the one that gave a faint positive. Probably because my body is in less of a hormonal mess.
  • Genetic testing on embryos could help but it is not allowed in here.
  • We have tested my uterine lining, and according to results I do not need an endo scratch nor a cortisone treatment. So nothing to do on this front.
  • I am not insulin resistant and I do not need to lose more weight so using metformin on me will not help. A low GI diet may help and I’m on it. 
So her plan does make sense. But it still got me upset. It got me upset because she didn’t seem confident. It seems more like we’re doing this because we do not know what else do. She wasn’t very encouraging either, she just seemed out of ideas. Finally I got upset because I don’t like waiting. I don’t want to wait until July. All I can think of is that I won’t be a mum in 2014, by my next birthday, Christmas, wedding anniversary etc. If a friend was telling me this I would not hesitate to say that it is better to wait and have more chances (are there really more chances?). But since it is me I cannot be that rational. I know a few months is not much but I am tired of all this waiting and trying to live a happy childless life.
If you have any suggestions on things I could try, please let me know! Thanks!
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19 Responses to Feeling a bit lost with IVF planning…

  1. Oh, I wish I had some wonderful suggestion that would make all of the unknowing and waiting easier. (Did they check you for antibodies? Anything in your system that might “attack” a “foreign” embryo?) On my first IVF, I needed to do the retrieval – do something else – then several months later – the FET. And it sucked. When I first started the process, I thought I was going to be able to do the IVF, get pregnant, wipe my hands together with a sense of accomplishment and be done with it. The universe likes to smack me around though – and there were so many starts and stops that it was disheartening. I so understand the disappointment and I hope that the timing ends up happening for a reason – that it works out for the best and the stars align and that you will be celebrating the upcoming birth of your child around Christmas. *hugs*

    • kiftsgate says:

      Thank you so much. I have been checked for all this. Nothing is wrong, which is actually good. I still remember the first time I did IVF and there was a little delay of a few weeks which seemed so much. Now after years that seems so silly. So I guess I should just think of that and be ok with the wait… Hugs back!

  2. Sometimes there just aren’t answers. It’s so frustrating. I’m sorry. I really hope they come up with a plan that works for you.

  3. Little Wife says:

    I think you should go for a second opinion. It could comfort the opinion of your gynecologist but it could also highlight new options. Should you need names, I can write you some by e-mails.

  4. Elisha says:

    My favorite (and I mean FAVORITE) verse right now is Matthew 19:26 which says, “Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”—for some reason I feel like this fits you to a T! The doctors are lost. You are lost. I am lost. I have no advice and it seems they are just shooting in the dark hoping to hit a target. But know that God is never lost and He can see in the light or dark and He can hit his target every time. He can do the impossible. I’m praying you get answers soon.

    waitingforbabybird.com

  5. E v e l y n says:

    Every mother’s day but the last I wondered if I would be a mother by the next. Last year I didn’t wonder that and I still won’t be a mother. What I’m saying is that try to take the calendar out of the equation because it won’t make a difference. Once we’re mothers hopefully we won’t remember the sorrow of missed special days.

    I think freezing for a couple months seems like a better approach. Your body will need to recover, but the wait will be painful.

    • kiftsgate says:

      You are completely right: calendar and comparing myself to others is good only to make me struggle more. I don’t know why I’m going through this regressive phase. I really have to pull myself together!
      If I do that the wait will be a bit less painful..
      Thanks!

  6. I felt the same after getting all my results. What next? The doctor’s answer was “I guess you keep trying.” It’s frustrating not having an answer. It took me a long time to come to terms with that.

    I’m glad you have some sort of a plan in place. Wishing you luck.

  7. Lisette says:

    This is so hard hun, you’ve been through so much. And to be honest I’d feel the exact same as you. Knowing your obgyn isn’t totally convinced would plant a seed of doubt in me too. I would seek another opinion, even just to hear it all again. This is your life and it’s the next six months of your life so it’s only natural to feel impatient about timing. I wish I had the answers hun but I think you’re right to question all this. Backing you up 100% sweetie. Hugs xx

    • kiftsgate says:

      I think I will go for another opinion. Hubby doesn’t want to change but I think just hearing someone else’s ideas would be good.
      Thanks for backing me up! It helps 🙂
      Hugs back!xx

  8. jesselyn6585 says:

    I wish I had answers for you Love. I am confused why you have to wait from March to July though. That’s more than 2 months. I support going to see the embryologist and maybe getting a second opinion. You want someone who is confident and has new ideas. Sending you love, hope, and faith.

    • kiftsgate says:

      I can answer that: I start treatments end of Feb, March is egg retrieval, so April and May are at rest. June I have work commitments that I really cannot cancel, so July..
      Thanks a lot!! xx

  9. If you aren’t feeling completely comfortable with the plan your gynecologist has set out, it seems like getting another opinion could be constructive and reassuring even if you decide not to change in the end. Have you had your vitamin D levels checked? My acupuncturist recommended this because there is some research that suggests good vitamin D levels can have a positive impact on IVF.

    • kiftsgate says:

      Thanks a lot for the suggestion. I’m taking vitamin supplements but I haven’t really had a check on the vitamin D. I’ll ask to do that, thanks.
      And yes, I’m gonna get a second opinion. If not for a change, it’ll be good for a peace of mind..

  10. Pingback: Planning, unplanning and replanning during IVF | Today I hope

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