Planning, unplanning and replanning during IVF

I love planning. It makes me feel better and in control. Unfortunately planning is one of the many things that infertility took away from my life. Or, rather, I can carry on planning but everything gets messed up by delayed or abandoned cycles, changes in protocols, and various unforeseen problems…

I was supposed to have IVF in January. January became February because of delays in some exam results. February became March because I had a crisis with my gynecologist. Then, it was decided that I would have egg retrieval in April but embryo transfer – if any – in July. I was bummed but made a genius plan which made me happy: I would start treatments in March, do egg retrieval in April, have a fun trip in May, work hard in June and do FET in July. But of course my wonderful plan just got cancelled!

The reason for cancelling this time is that our new gynecologist found I have a severe lack of iron and vitamin D. He wants me to take supplements for a month and then do IVF in May. So there goes our May trip. I know it’s for the best and that it’s not a tragedy but I’m still sad about our holidays.

Unlike me, my hubby has shown a miraculous improvement in his results: he went from being a disastrous case of less than 1% decent sperm in 2011 to basically having normal results now. I am super happy about this: it gives us much higher chances and it shows that I haven’t bothered him about diet, alcohol and cigarettes for nothing. But, it makes me feel even more guilty about having messed up our holiday plans: thanks to me he’ll spend his days off at the clinic.

And as if I weren’t feeling guilty enough, today he surprised me by planning a little trip for this week-end to cheer me up. He is such a star! And so it goes: we cancel our plans and make new ones. Hoping, once again, that this time it will be for a positive end result…

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26 Responses to Planning, unplanning and replanning during IVF

  1. Holly E says:

    Glad you are keeping your chin up even when things aren’t going your way!

  2. Isabelle says:

    Yeah things usually don’t go as planned, which is such a bummer. But yay for your DH who is so lovely! Have a fabulous trip!

    • kiftsgate says:

      Thanks! things never go as planned!! I think that’s why I had hesitated with buying tickets.. oh well, little by little our plan F is looking more appealing.. xx

  3. Elisha says:

    I love how he made plans for the weekend! That is so sweet !!

  4. E v e l y n says:

    Awesome on hubby’s results. Vitamin D seems to be a big thing with fertility these days. I’m glad they tested and are treating. Don’t be surprised if it doesn’t rise fast. Mine was super low and still is a little below normal after a year of 4000 UI a day.

    I wasn’t even aware it could be a problem until my pharmacy tech friend accompanied me to one of my retrievals. When we got back home she starts tearing pages out of her calendar of all the things she wrote down while she was waiting/observing. A vitamin D recommendation was one of the things she copied from the waiting room. I was surprised no one at the clinic told me that. I also realized that this friend would be in the room with me to deliver a baby if I ever have one.

    • kiftsgate says:

      I thought of you immediately when I heard to the vitamin D. At first I thought he was just being annoying with stopping IVF for iron and vitamin D. But I checked on the internet and it looks quite important… And this is actually the reason for which I chose to change doctor: he so much more thorough about all this.
      It’s great about your friend! she sounds like she’d be a nice person to have around in such an important moment. Hope it arrives soon!

  5. I am the same way about planning and wanting to be in control. IVF is a real shit disturber… Hang in there!

  6. allison2206 says:

    Great news about Hubby! You can’t leave on vacation after the IVF in May? I know how complicated it is, I’ll know Friday when I’ll be doing my first IVF and I’m a bit worried it’ll be at the same time than our wedding. Have a great week-end, that’s an amazing surprise!

    • kiftsgate says:

      The plan is to have IVF right in the middle of the first two bank holiday week-ends in May, so we had to cancel our plans. We may be able to go on day trips if I’m ok and if we don’t have monitoring appointments. I can’t go on vacation after the bank holidays and taking days off for IVF: I need to be at work..
      Is the wedding coming up soon? I hope you get good news on Friday and that the IVF does not affect your wedding. Let us know!
      xx

  7. Little Wife says:

    Oh a surprise week end ! Wonderfull idea !
    For the IVF, you know that de cannot plan… And I hope this delay is for the best! At least you won’t have any doubt that everything was under control.
    I hope we have lots of sun this week end, it would give you some vitamine D !
    =)

    • kiftsgate says:

      It is a great idea. And the first time he does something like this. I must have looked really down.. in any case it definitely cheered me up!🙂
      The weather forecasts look good for the week-end. Hope you also get to enjoy some sun! Otherwise the acupuncturist may also tell you to eat fish liver…
      xx

  8. NotSoNewtoIVF says:

    The delay totally sucks but really pleased you’ve got a little trip booked in xx

  9. damelapin says:

    That’s great for your hubby!!! For the holiday plans, well that sucks. I’m like you – I like to plan and organize everything. Try to enjoy your suprise weekend, and other plans can be made😉

  10. Ria says:

    Your hubby deserves a gold star! Glad you got some good news about his swimmers. Hoping the current plan works out for you! All the planning and replanning: infertility sure is good for training us to be flexible. Not that this makes having to be flexible any easier. Hope your trip this weekend is wonderful!

  11. I’m really sorry you have to delay your cycle and change your holiday plans, but am glad your doctor is looking and addressing little issues that seem to have the potential to have a big impact on fertility. I was really happy to read that your husband’s numbers have shown miraculous improvements and hopefully treating the iron and vitamin D deficiencies will keep the ball rolling in the miraculous improvement direction. My mom is a midwife and always told me that women seemed to tolerate liquid iron supplements much better than tablets. I think the tablets can be rough on your stomach. It might be worth asking what types of supplements are available at the pharmacy. I hope you have a wonderful weekend with your sweet husband!

    • kiftsgate says:

      Thanks! Yes, the iron supplements are proving difficult on my stomach.. great suggestion: I’ll go and see if I can get liquid supplements. Thanks! Hope you are well. Haven’t had news in a while… Big hug!

  12. jesselyn6585 says:

    I love that little photo/quotation at the end. Very positive. I’m so glad that your Hubby’s results have improved. Keeping you in my thoughts!

  13. So great for your hubby !
    That sucks for the delay of your IVF, but if it’s for the best… it’s for The Best ! (Even if I imagine how hard and painful it is).
    Have a nice sunny week-end ! Kisses

  14. Pingback: IVF # 4, here we go! | Today I hope

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