IVF # 4, here we go!

I finally got confirmation that I can go ahead with my 4th fresh IVF cycle. I’m so excited!!! My excitement is like a normal IVF excitement to the power of all the months I’ve been waiting, multiplied by the amount of effort spent in planning this IVF and trying all possible things to increase chances of success. That makes A LOT of excitement!

Yet nothing is straightforward in the world of IVF and my excitement is mixed with being a bit stressed: lots of work-IVF juggling ahead and some questions on the new treatment plan, mostly due to the fact that I don’t really know the protocol yet. Of course, I am also  very scared that this cycle may not work either. With a massive amount of good news around me in real and virtual life, I can’t help feeling that the universe has extinguished its quota of BFPs and that I’ll be left out. Go rational and scientific thinking!

Like for every IVF cycle (see IVF#3), I try to convince myself that things are different and better, so as to find some optimism. Here is my list for IVF#4:

  • TEAM – I have a new gynecologist, who is at least in theory better than the old one (the old one was already very good) and has the advantage of working 5 minutes from my office, which greatly reduces the stress of monitoring appointments. I also have a new acupuncturist, who, unlike the old one, is really specialised in fertility issues. I have also gone to see an osteopath, who has apparently managed to relax my over-tense uterus (yeah, whatever… you never know…). I have gone to see a new endocrinologist who has checked all sorts of things and given me a diet. Finally, the new embryologist seems to be more proactive and will have me do a fancy egg biopsy.
  • BODY – I have been taking tons of supplements, including for vitamin D and iron, which had not been tested before. I have been on a low GI diet for months (except a packet of gummy bears after the IVF cycle was cancelled last month). I have been doing sports, but less heavily and more often than last year. I have perfect BMI, which has been constant for months now, and TSH levels. I also feel generally ok these days, mostly thanks to my mum who came to spoil me. Hubby has also improved lifestyle and now has much better results, which may help.
  • MIND – I have done a lot of work to prepare for this IVF cycle on the psychological level. Nevertheless, I still find myself having trust issues. After 3 failed cycles, my trust in miracle medicine has gone down. This became obvious today when I kept asking panicky questions to the gynecologist while he was writing me prescriptions for the drugs. Seriously, can I just let him do his job?? I am also not sure I trust my body to get pregnant and carry a child yet. After so many deceptions it’s hard to believe that I can actually do this, especially since without a menstrual cycle I have a constant reminder that my body doesn’t work properly. The osteopath I went to see did make me think a bit better of my body by underlying its strengths and all it’s allowed me to do: travelling, carrying heavy suitcases, sports, long and heavy work days, stress, overnighters… I have also tried to picture myself being pregnant for the first time. What the mind can do the body can do? I think this will cost me a lot if this cycle fails, but I’ll think about that later.

All in all, there is one thing that makes me feel good about this cycle: I could not have done anything more or better and I don’t regret my choices.

– 7 days to stim starting day!!! Yuppy!!!

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21 Responses to IVF # 4, here we go!

  1. Congrats on beginning your new cycle–it certainly sounds like you’ve been working hard and I hope this is your time! XO

  2. Elisha says:

    Praying this cycle is the one 🙂

  3. As I said Hop hop hop… Hope Hope Hope !!!

  4. Holly E says:

    Good luck lady!!! You’ve done a lot of good prep for this one 🙂

  5. You have totes beaten me with the diet! Misery and weight loss got the best of me. I’ve been naughty recently. I’m excited for you and I’m so hoping this is it for you – your magical baby nestles in and grows healthy. I’m going to join you in the visualisations.. I’m in Saint Chapelle gazing at the colours at sunset whilst hugging my bump. Ahhh what a visualisation.

    • kiftsgate says:

      I’m sure you haven’t been naughty. Plus my new theory is that getting to the point you can relax a bit about it is even better. At least that’s how I excuse myself.
      Love that visualisation idea! I’m doing a double bump visualisation. If we have to dream, we may as well dream big! xx

  6. Joanna Schwartz says:

    Ok! I am with you all the way, girl!!!

  7. julys974 says:

    I like your excitement !! In a way, that means that you believe in your chances… Anyway, I believe in it for you! Fingers crossed…

  8. barrenbetty says:

    Yay! I’m so happy you got the go ahead and your new team sound great. It’s a perfect start to the cycle – you’ve done everything you can so no regrets. I like it! I wish I’d done that. I’ve been a right misery pants and eating and drinking to console myself… Bad!! I have been doing lots of exercise though and as of yesterday I’ve started back on supplements. Small steps in the right direction!

    I’m excited to see how you get on… I’m sending you sooo much good luck for this cycle. I really hope this is the one! xxx

    • kiftsgate says:

      Thank you BB!!
      I’m sure you’ve been way better than what you say. Plus, if you trust my colleague here at work, swimming is THE thing that gets you pregnant!

  9. Ahh we’re going to be cycle buddies! I should start stimms next week too! Glad you’re in a good place hon, think I’m just a bit in denial! Xxx

    • kiftsgate says:

      Denial is ok, it may even take some stress away. As long as you don’t forget to take drugs.. Hope the DR is over soon so you can start stimms next week! And I hope it works for both of us!! xx

  10. Sounds like you are doing everything you can and taking great care of yourself. Sending good thoughts your way!

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