Today I hopeI started this blog in a day full of hope, a few days after I had two embryos transferred. That transfer did not work but after a few more attempts, our miracle baby is finally with us!
Blogs I Follow
- Ti'punch contre Ti'bout !
- bringing home the little fella
- dame lapin maman
- Association de patients de l'AMP et de personnes infertiles.
- Whatever works...
- my lady bits
- A Calm Persistence
- Waiting For Bumble
- Waiting for Baby Bird
- Fertility Doll
- A Few Pieces Missing From Normalcy - An Infertile Man's Perspective
- Jessica Hepburn's Blog
- Toolbox for Teachers
- Un coeur à mère
- Sailing On Uncharted Waters
- My Life As A Case Study
- Le blog de Lutine en PMA - VIVE LE DON !
- The Infernal Infertile
- Will Work For Baby
TagsAcupuncture Adoption Anxiety body breathing Communication difficulties disappointments Doctors dreams embryologist encouragement endometrial biopsy failure family feelings FET friends frozen embryos fun future happiness hope ICSI Infertility international adoption IVF Japan Life love marriage mind PCOS pedopsychiatrist plans psychologist Psychology regrets relaxation results sadness social assistant stress tears travelling treatments TWW waiting wishes work
- My Tweets
I have started this IVF#4 cycle in a relatively good mood. I was actually cautiously hopeful for once. I even told my husband that I thought this cycle may work. I have done all I could to prepare for it, and I was hopeful that we would at very least get some nice embryos.
I started getting worried when the gynecologist told me to take 150 Gonal-F. I did tell him I thought it was too high given my past experience but he said it would be ok. I decided to stay zen and trust him. After all, it’s his job and not mine. I was reassured seeing that he checked me earlier and often and that I didn’t have the LH peak I had had last time I was on 150 of Gonal-F.
I worried a bit more when my ovaries started hurting and when yesterday I saw a zillion follicles at the scan at day 6 of stimms [To some of you many follicles sounds good, but for me seeing many follicles means crap egg quality and no embryos]. The gynecologist looked confident, so I went on with the zen and trusting.
Today I woke up in even more pain than the last days, and even basic things like going for a wee are being painful.. Since it is not yet as bad as when I had OHSS in 2012, I was keeping hopeful. But I just got my blood test results and I am now officially losing my zen attitude. My estradiol is over 4000. Together with the pain, which is getting stronger, and the number of follicles, that makes me in what I guess is for now only a mild OHSS.
In absence of a direct response from my gynecologist (who communicated through his assistant to lower Gonal-F but to continue with the treatments and to go see him tomorrow as foreseen), I have asked Doctor Google. Ffrom skimming through a zillion internet articles in a state of panic (highly scientific meta analysis approach), I understand that estradiol levels higher than 4000 strongly diminish egg quality and IVF success. Some doctors chose to cancel the cycle, others to stop meds for a couple of days, others to just go on with lower doses. All three approaches have pros and cons that I do not and will not try to understand because in any case my hopes have abandoned me when I read that egg quality sucks with high estradiol levels (my poetic paraphrasing..).
I have asked my husband to not tell me we made a mistake changing doctor and to be the positive one. He’s been very good at it. I know he’s just executing orders, but it still helps to have one of us keep it together.
Pardon my francais, but WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! Seriously, why the heck is this happening?!!??!
Any help, reassurance or miracle story on OHSS will be highly appreciated. Thanks!