to pee or not to pee (on the stick)

9dp2dt. 

This has been the weirdest TWW ever. I have been very calm until now, but I can feel that the crazies have started…
Only a few days after the transfer I went home to see my family. Flying in the TWW would have been madness to me earlier on. But by now I know that these embies will either stick or not stick and me catching a plane won’t make much of a difference. Also the doctor told me it was ok to fly about 10 times…. Being away was nice. We got sunshine, the calm of the mountains, mum’s wonderful food, walks with dad, and my dad’s adorable kittens. It was nice and relaxing.
Nevertheless I had time to worry and wonder and, unfortunately, day dream. I’m a planner by nature and I live in the future. Infertility has been a massive mental exercise for me to try and get used to living in the present. Sometimes i can’t do it. But can I really blame my brain when I am totally capable of thinking of Christmas holidays in the middle of summer?
Anyways, my day dreaming went waaaaaay too far this time. Like seriously way too far. There’s a reason for it. My last frozen cycle ended up in a chemical pregnancy. It was the only time I have seen a positive result, even though it was very low and a very crappy result. It was also the only time that I had been feeling sick and unfortunately my brain has taken that as a reference point (yes I know no pregnancy is alike, but this is the only experience I’ve had…). So when I started feeling sick about a week ago, I became quite hopeful.
[Even worse, my whole family got over excited every time I felt like puking..]
This went on until I finally switched my brain back on and went to check the side effects of the meds I’m taking. Apparently the vivelle dot patches I’m using have nausea as very common side effect. So my hopes have lowered quite a bit, especially since I’ve started having some cramps yesterday.
Because I’ve allowed myself to hope so much, I feel I really want to POAS so I see a BFN, so my hopes go back to zero and so I have a bit less of a heartbreak on OTD (will I?)… I’m not sure this reasoning makes sense (does it?).
This morning I bought a stick. Now I’m left with the question: to pee or not to pee on the stick??
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36 Responses to to pee or not to pee (on the stick)

  1. Lisette says:

    I never wait to pee, i hate false hope, i prefer just to know for sure… But you are the only one who knows and i just cross my fingers for you !!!

  2. damelapin says:

    Awww, I think only you can decide wether to pee or not to pee. I’ll fly out just after my transfer normally for this time. But well, after so many tries, lying for 2 or 3 days and always negative results… Fingers still crossed

  3. Elisha says:

    I am a pee on the stick fool so if you ask me I will say HECK YES! Lol!

  4. allison2206 says:

    Maybe wait until Saturday so you don’t have to go to work afterwards (whatever the result), that’s what I do when possible…

  5. redbluebird says:

    I would pee (on the stick). I prefer to face the results–positive or negative– in privacy. I would hate to have someone else tell me the results. Good luck, I hope so much that this is the lucky one for you!!!

    • kiftsgate says:

      Thanks! We get the results by email so I never had anyone call me. That’s great to be honest. I hate the idea of a nurse calling me to give me the news…

  6. I POAS on a FRER @ 12dpo, as a rule. I hope this brings good news for you! XO

  7. As a POAS-aholic I can’t offer any lessons in restraint, but I hope whatever you do helps you maintain the calm that has gotten you this far. Keeping fingers crossed for great results whether or not you decide to test!

  8. barrenbetty says:

    I don’t think I need to comment because you know my POAS addiction!!! I’m convinced mine hasn’t worked so I’m a bit more scared this time. Good luck!!! xxx

  9. I think your brain/heart will make up the decision for you. It kind of sounds like it already has😉. I have the same theory as you about the POAS issue. Even though my negative POAS attempts have all been challenging, I do feel that they have helped make OTD a tad bit easier. But I unfortunately often fall into the infamous Google trap post-negative POAS… “7dp5dt negative POAS, positive OTD”. It is still a tad bit early post-2dt to be sure of avoiding a false negative. I am crossing everything for you and am sooooo hoping you’ll be greeted with two magnificent lines! xoxo

  10. I just hope, pee or not pee, I just hope😉

  11. Lisette says:

    Lol, I would POAS but be prepared to POMMS (pee on many more sticks), because that seems to be how I roll. One is never enough!!! Hugs & thinking of you xxx

    • kiftsgate says:

      Hehe. I guess. That’s what I did last time. Well I did it twice overall so not many more… I don’t know about this time. I think once depressed me enough…

  12. NotSoNewtoIVF says:

    Oh sweetie I’m hoping so much for you. These few days are the absolute worst, I hope they go quickly.
    Glad you had a good time with your family xxx

  13. E v e l y n says:

    I never peed until 2 days before my blood test. I always figured the test would be accurate by then and I would know either way. After getting a couple positives, which were similar, I got to the point where I could tell about a week after the transfer when I wasn’t pregnant. Anyway, I hope its good news for you and I’m glad you got a chance to visit your folks.

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