I was supposed to test tomorrow but since I’m catching a flight to Japan tonight I decided it would be safer to get at least an idea of whether I should pack tampons or drugs.
My beta was 1.
I will pack tampons.
You know how I started this cycle in pure pessimism? Well, that only lasted about a week, then my super sore boobs made me believe that there was some hope. Except I started doubting of having any chances in the last couple of days when my boobs were not sore anymore and I started having period pains.
The truth is that all this is nothing more than a lot of shit that goes on in my head because there has probably been absolutely nothing going on down there.
This is unexpectedly probably the worst heartbreak I have ever had. Pessimism doesn’t work any better than optimism. But I need to pull myself together and go pack my stuff so I don’t miss my fight. I need to find the strength to present at this conference which is way too high level for me and my current state of mind. And I need to survive today and the next 5 days without getting a hug from my husband.
I will probably be offline for the next weeks. I know lots of people are cycling or have big days coming up. I wish you all loads of luck and success! Sorry I won’t be around.
To the ones who like me will just take the rest of the summer to recover and try to have fun, I hope we’ll all feel better at the end of the summer. I’ll think of you so I feel less lonely while I drink like an alcoholic on the flight tonight.