ありがとう – Thank you Japan!

I got back from Japan a few days ago and I’m still in awe at this wonderful trip! I loved everything: the calm madness of Tokyo, the quietness of the woods, the beauty of the temples, the perfect harmony of Japanese gardens, the incredible kindness of the Japanese people, the food, the unexpected discoveries, the traditions, the old and the new, the countless shades of green in the forests, the sun light coming through maple and ginkgo tree leaves, the hot spring baths, the karaoke singing Japanese songs after drinking way too much… 

We walked and biked around loads trying to see and experience as much as possible. I loved getting to the evening with my feet on fire or sore legs. It helped regaining possession of my body: little by little I had no more sore boobs, nausea, or tummy pains. I lost the weight I had gained with treatments and I’m now feeling really well. 

I wish my mind was as quick as my body though.. I spent the first week in Japan waking up at 4 AM in tears. I blamed it on jet lag and decided to cure it with jogging (it’s amazing how many people go jogging or walking at 5 AM in Japan!). Things got better as days went by but sadness and panic often came back when we stopped running around. The worst was when we went to these beautiful onsen (hot springs): I was sitting in this outdoor bath, with a wonderful view on the maple trees and the soothing noise of a small river, but all I could think about was dead embryos, doctors, tests, decisions to be made, my parents getting old and, above all, the fear of never being a mum..

A friend reminded me that grief comes in waves and you just need to wait for the wave to go away. I guess that I loved Japan so much that I made this wave a tsunami… But even tsunamis pass and I’m really hoping this one will be gone soon.. 

Anyways, enough with the whining and time for some pictures now! Here is a small selection: 10 out of the 2000 I have.. yes I am an addict!

A huge lake of lotus flowers at Ueno Park in Tokyo. The lotus flowers are much taller than me.. 

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Our fortunes up outside a temple. My husband got “Very bad luck”, I got “The last fortune”, which is even worse.. According to Japan our wishes will not come true..

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The crowd at Shibuya crossing in Tokyo

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The golden Pavillion in Kyoto

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Bamboo forest in Kyoto

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Torii at the Fujimi Inari temple in Kyoto. We went for the full walk/hike: I don’t think I have ever gone up so many steps my whole life! It was definitely worth it!!

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Wishes up the trees for the Tanabata festival in Kyoto

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The huge torii in the water in the Miyagima Island.

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One of the many super cute Buddhas we saw

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Maple trees in the summer light in Kamakura

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25 Responses to ありがとう – Thank you Japan!

  1. allison2206 says:

    Great to hear from you! I m super happy you enjoye Japan but I know what you mean; I feel like I ruined a big part of our honeymoon by worrying it ll never happen and by being sad. Japan seems amazing but dont you believe your wishes will never come true!!!

    • kiftsgate says:

      Thanks lovely! I hope you still enjoyed your honeymoon. Some people tell us to “just relax on holidays” but it’s not so easy to forget everything we are going through.. So you’re back now?

      • allison2206 says:

        For sure, I cant stop wondering what can go wrong with September’s IVF. I m visiting my home country till Friday. See you when you can!!

        • kiftsgate says:

          I hope you can soon start thinking of all that could go right! I am really hoping it will be a first time luck for you.
          Ill be back on Tuesday night. So maybe see you next week🙂

  2. Jillian says:

    Beautiful, beautiful pictures. You went away filled with grief and you let it wash over you and even though it’s still there – you haven’t let it cripple you. You can still experience and share beauty. It’s not enough . . . I know we all want more, but you strenght really is extraordinary.

    • kiftsgate says:

      Thank you Jillian for a lovely and encouraging comment. I am happy that I can still experience and share beauty. It’s a real blessing and it helped so much. x

  3. tinadayo says:

    soooo “homesick” for Japan now after reading your post. Beautiful pictures as well!!

  4. Elisha says:

    So great to hear from you and the pictures are breathtaking!! Wowzas!! What a blessing it was for you to be able to go. Xo

  5. I saw some of the pictures on Twitter – but seeing them all together on the post – they are simply amazing!

  6. Isabelle says:

    AWWW. Sounds like the perfect vacation to me! I think it’s healthy to be sad and to grieve. Japan is the most ideal location for that. I am so happy that you got that time to unwind and release. Glad you’re back!

  7. Dani says:

    These images are just beautiful. And you?? You are too.

    It’s okay to have a bad day or bad week. Whether you know it or not, you are being refined, sweetie.
    Even in this.
    Even through this.

    With heart,
    Dani

  8. Bounty Caramel says:

    Beautiful pictures ! I hope next days will be better and better… Take care…

  9. E v e l y n says:

    Amazing pictures. You see very mindful of your emotions and I think this is a good way to be.

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