Time to say goodbye

I started blogging because I needed to talk about my infertility journey and I felt that people around me couldn’t understand what I was going through. Interacting with other bloggers has been a fantastic way to feel less lonely and more normal in my madness, to laugh at infertility at times and even to exchange useful information, which in my case made a huge difference as it’s thanks to another blogger that I found my miracle Doctor (who’d better do a miracle for her too now!). I even had the privilege to meet some of these wonderful bloggers in real life. And a few others I have become so close to that I often forget we haven’t even met in real life (yet!). So many lovely and brave people!

While I will miss this blog , I think its raison d’etre is (luckily) gone. Like others, I know infertility will still impact my life in many ways. It has during my pregnancy and it still does. But as I write with my wee one lying on my chest, I really feel like it’s time to go and to let go a bit of this infertility identity.

But before I go, I want to thank those who followed me and supported me throughout the journey. I don’t know what I would have done without you! To those still fighting to get their babies (one way or another), I will still be around and cheering on you.

To those who may find this blog later on, I hope the write up of my journey brings you some hope. My advice to anyone struggling with infertility:
– be nice to yourself.
– find out what works for you to feel better and try to do it (massage, going out to get wasted, going shopping or whatever else).
– learn to be surprised: some friends will let you down; other people will unexpectedly be there for you. It’s hard but it’s ok… C’est la vie..
– don’t ever do an egg retrieval without a general anesthesia while you are on ovarian hyperstimulation, unless you have to for some reason. it really hurts too much.

Wish you all lots of luck, health, love and happiness!


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31 Responses to Time to say goodbye

  1. gsmwc02 says:

    I wish you the best but hope you stick around. I understand if you don’t want to now that you’ve graduated and have your happy ending. I don’t blame you for not wanting to stay here. I wish I could leave but can’t.

    • kiftsgate says:

      I will stick around. I just won’t blog anymore. there’s a lot I can write about this new chapter of my life but I don’t think that is of much interest to people struggling with infertility.

      • gsmwc02 says:

        I disagree. I think talking about the challenges of parenting can help those going through infertility and help those who do end up becoming parents like you. In fact I think a group of people like yourself have started a blog about it.

        • kiftsgate says:

          yes I know there are blogs about that. I just don’t feel like writing. at least not at the moment. I think I need to get some distance from my infertility for my baby. I find it’s easy to let myself focus on stuff like going to the pediatrician and noting I am so much older than all other mums, or getting uneasy everytime I am asked with a surprised look if it’s my first one. I could write about it but I feel it would make me focus on these thoughts even more.
          Instead I feel I need to focus on her and all the joy she brought in my life.
          This is just how I feel at the moment. I may start another blog if I change my mind.

      • Vicki says:

        Hi there, I can’t believe I only found your blog now after living in France also for 4 years! I wish I had beforehand, but I suppose I was meant to read that you ultimately had success. I’ve been going through the ‘whole process’ here for 2 years now. Finally found a great Dr that I love in Paris, but after 2 failed IUIs and 1 failed IVF with only 10/15% success rate for pregnancy and 6% chance for birth (guess age does matter after all)…it’s time to recover a bit. Plus, we are moving back to the States next month (happy in one way, but sad as medical coverage and possibilities for that is amazing in France). Anyway, I’m so happy to skim and read that you’ve ended this blog on a “miracle note” after your painful journey. I wish that I could say the same, as many of us do, and not sure when to actually say, ‘enough is enough’ with trying. Who knows, I guess it differs for us all, but it’s hard to let go of and then see how others keep trying and then it works. Anyway, wishing you the best on your new and improved journey as a parent and wishing all the followers that are still on the other end, more strength and positive energy to get through each phase. 😉

  2. Sondra says:

    I’ll miss you! But glad to see you’re still sticking around. You know though, there are very few blogs about parenting after IF. Just a thought, but I do think your voice is important.

    • kiftsgate says:

      thanks lovely. I know of a few blogs of parenting after IF but most are in French actually. there’s a lot to be said about it. maybe I actually still identify too much as an infertile to not think that my posts may be hard to read for some fellow bloggers. maybe later on I’ll change my mind and open another blog. Thanks!

      • Sondra says:

        I really like that idea. I always thought that’s what I would do. I’ve always felt that my infertile blog shouldn’t have bumps or babies, so starting another blog is what I’ll hopefully do someday.

  3. julys974 says:

    Je répondrais en français, parce que je vais m’exprimer sous le coup de l’émotion… Merci infiniment pour ce dernier ô combien magnifique billet !!
    Je te souhaite du plus profond de mon coeur d’être heureuse et de ne jamais oublier à quel point votre histoire et celle de votre enfant est précieuse…
    Je suis émue car, comme toi, si un jour ce parcours s’arrête (et il s’arrêtera, on ne sait juste ni quand ni comment!), je crois que moi aussi je ferai mes adieux. Et finalement, je rêve de les faire le plus tôt possible, même si j’ai bien conscience que c’est une page qui se tourne et que ça doit être riche en émotion et en symbole. Je t’embrasse.

  4. Wishing you the best! If you do change your mind and decide to blog about parenting after IF, please do share your new blog so those of us who want to follow can. 🙂

  5. Hey sugar! Thank you for sharing this journey with me–we’ve been through a lot together and that means something to me (and obviously to you or you wouldn’t bother to write a farewell post). I think it’s great that you are moving on and I wish you and your family all the best! Au revoir, my friend ❤ XOXO

  6. Holly says:

    We’ve actually started a work in progress, Parenting after infertility and loss compilation blog! We’d love to have you as a guest blogger when you feel ready! Several of us felt the same way, like there wasn’t much of a “home” for us anymore so we’re building one!

  7. damelapin says:

    I’ll miss you!

  8. I wish you all the best in the months and years to come 🙂

  9. Elisha says:

    Oh sugars!!! I am so going to miss you :/

  10. barrenbetty says:

    Lovely post as always. I’ll miss reading your blog.. Yours was one of the first blogs I started following (a long time ago now!) and I’m very glad I did 🙂 I’m glad you aren’t going to be an infertility blogger anymore though for such s good reason! xx

    • kiftsgate says:

      Thanks! I’ll also miss BB! You should consider having a parenting blog. I’m sure it’d be a fun one! In any case I’m glad BB and this blog are over and that we can start a new much better chapter. xx

  11. jesselyn6585 says:

    I’m so happy for you but will missyou dearly!!!

  12. Enjoy every minute with the little love of your life. Glad you will still be “around” even if not in writing. Often, the listener is the most important thing anyway, isn’t it? All the best to you and yours!

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