One of the first questions I was asked after telling people about the positive pregnancy test was about adoption: what about adoption? will you give up adoption then? Will you still adopt? You should change your twitter profile: it still says “trying to adopt”.
My husband and I discussed this immediately, especially since we had an adoption meeting while waiting for the results of our fist beta. We both agreed that we would still like to adopt, despite the added complications of having a biological child.
But, despite this sort of I-want-it-all type of wish, we may not be able to adopt. If all goes well with the pregnancy, we will let the adoption people know about the baby and we’ll be taken out of the (7-year) waiting list for national adoption. Legally, we would still be able to adopt from abroad. However, you may recall that we have applied to several agencies but that none of them retained our profile. We have a permission to adopt a young baby (3 year old maximum) but this is not feasible given the situation of international adoption at the moment. We have already been told that we need to ask for an extension so as to be able to adopt an older child or a child with health problems. To do this we would be asked to go through a another series of meetings with the adoption services, in order to discuss what is basically our new adoption project. There is no way that we could do this in the coming months: it would feel wrong and I am pretty sure that the lady from the adoption services would tell us that we need to focus on a project at a time, which makes perfect sense.
So, to answer the question on whether we’ll still try to adopt, I think the adoption project we had in the last years won’t be possible anymore. If we get approval for it though, we would love to transform our adoption project into a new one in the future.
But for now, after all this time of dreaming of having a baby, I think we owe it to ourselves and to this baby to just take one thing at a time, enjoy the present and simply live our dream.
As per Julys‘ suggestion here are some happy songs for anyone who may need a bit of energy! Waka waka – Shakira This is the theme song of my hen do. Maybe I like it so much because it reminds me of a really fun zumba class with a very hot zumba teacher 😉 http://youtu.be/pRpeEdMmmQ0 Walking on Sunshine – Katrina & the Waves http://youtu.be/iPUmE-tne5U L’ombelico del mondo – Jovanotti A song from my youth that I never get tired of! http://youtu.be/3ZY3bm93Wk4 Baciami piccina – Trio Radiomarelli This is the band that played at our wedding 😀 http://youtu.be/dA2jkRdtLjA Dancing queen – Abba Can’t miss Abba from a list of happy songs! http://youtu.be/xFrGuyw1V8s What are your happy songs?
Posted in life
Tagged cheer up, happy, songs
I have been living in France for over 5 years now. I am not French and actually occasionally struggle to feel at home in this country (mostly for silly reasons like my dislike for mustard and its presence everywhere). But today I don’t struggle to feel home.
Today I’m French.
I feel French for my strong beliefs in freedom, for the admiration I have for this country which defends such freedom, for all the people, of different religion, ethnic origin and beliefs, who stand together for the common values this country if founded on.
1.5 million people took part to the demonstrations today in Paris. More took part to others around France but also in the rest of the world. It was really impressive to see! I could not be one of them, even if my thoughts and heart were certainly there.
I really hope that today’s demonstration is a sign that there’ll be more tolerance. More fraternite’. More pencils and drawings, and less violence.
Posted in life
Tagged #iamFrench, #jesuisahmed, #jesuischarlie, #jesuisfrancaise, #jesuisjuif, #jesuispolicier, Charlie Hebdo, France, hope, Paris attack, pencils
Happy new year everyone!! I hope everyone enjoyed – or at least successfully survived – the winter holidays. I hope 2015 will bring you love, serenity and happiness!
I know for some 2014 was a very tough year, and for a few 2015 actually started with bad news. I am thinking of you loads and I can only hope that this year will bring you lots of luck and pleasant surprises.
Posted in life
Tagged new year, wishes
As we recently passed the 12 week cap and reached the end of the first trimester, we started breaking the news to friends, family and colleagues.
Everyone has been really enthusiastic. My colleague who had her baby at 42 after 6 IVF rounds even cried when I told her. As for my bosses, knowing about IVF, they have been super nice, with no mention of work issues. My big boss could seriously win a prize for his enthusiasm.
Telling people has also lead me to uncover our journey to a few more people and to find that more people have had problems with infertility. The Director of the department where I work told me that it took him and his wife five years to have their son. And when I told my old PhD supervisor, he answered with this:
“You actually have lots of company—many more people go through this than the uninitiated realize. Nobody talks about it, which is kind of a shame given that it creates a needless stigma. It took my wife and I 3 tries to get our son.”
As for family and friends, they have been super enthusiastic though often surprised since we hadn’t talked much about IVF lately. We did of course get a few classic remarks:
- “See, you just needed to wait / be patient!”
[You are totally right, waiting for things to magically work out is exactly what have been doing in the last years..]
- “I knew it would work!”
[My bad, I should have trusted your ability to read the future.]
- “I’m sure it worked because you had let go / given up / relaxed”.
[I wish I could let this one go, but just feel I have to explain.. I don’t know why it worked this round. It may have been because it was our first blastocyst or the meds we used but it was surely not because I was relaxed or not thinking about it..]
Telling people has also made me feel a bit nervous. I fear having to call them all back to tell them that things didn’t work out. But my husband is so enthusiastic that I don’t want to spoil it for him with my fears. So I’m just letting him talk, and hoping that it will all go well.
It’s just over six months since we welcomed our little kitty in our lives. It’s been the best decision ever. It’s always been easy: she’s completely nuts and for the first few months we hardly managed to get any sleep.. but she’s wonderful and a lot of fun!
Life isn’t the same anymore though. She loves to stand in front of the TV, especially when football is on, which I find really funny but my husband not so much.. In the mornings and evenings she loves to go into the sink or shower, slightly complicating showering or brushing teeth. And she loves to climb on anything she can, bite and eat all she finds and sneak into all open bags or boxes. I also found out that there is nothing like an afternoon nap with my little ball of fur.
I wanted to share a few pictures since you were there for her arrival 😀
Hope everyone is having a nice week-end!
Yey, it’s finally the weekend!! This has been a very good week, but I’m still happy I get to enjoy my two days off work and commuting!
I had my NT scan yesterday and all is well! Yey!! The doctor scared me when she started the scan saying “that position is bad” and “it doesn’t move” without further explanation. Not quite the same psychological approach as my IVF doctor repeating ten times “tout va bien“. Anyhow, we had a second scan after I had a walk, tried to relax and had a scrumptious slice of carrot cake. At the second scan there was a lot of movement (what a relief!!). All measurements are ok and everything is well!
But other great things happened this week. I had my first public presentation in French, which I had been stressing about for about a month. It went well. It was about the impacts of air pollution on health so I talked about a bunch of things, including fertility. After I presented I had a long discussion some people and one of them asked me if I knew about “PMA” (stands for Assisted Medical Procreation in French). Ahaahah the guy had no idea whom he was talking to….
This week I also finished the last Outlander book. I started the first book before the FET and the books have been accompanying me through a lot! They’ve been an excellent distraction. My sister is seriously convinced that I got pregnant thanks to these books, which – of course – she told me to read! Anyhow I got to the end of the last book and really liked it. I do feel a bit lost on what to read now but I’m sure I’ll find something..
Hope you all have a nice week-end!